You are NOT Stupid.

I have just had to try to explain to S why she isn't stupid. I just had to remind her to keep her feet to herself and ask her to remember her sister needs her personal space. She got very upset saying 'I'm stupid. I'm stupid.' 'You're not stupid S.' 'I am stupid. You tell me lots, personal space.' Time to have that chat.

I know I can't tell her she has an ASD just yet as she has no diagnosis but scoring 5 on an ADOS test shows she must think differently to others. 

I turned off the music and sent her sister off with a toy and offered S a seat on my lap, facing away from me, as making her look at me would distract her, with her head near me so she could hear me. I told her this. 

'S you are clever. You are not stupid. You are so clever and have a special brain. Sometimes because you are so clever you forget some things. Like when you forget not to touch people. You are clever.' 

We stopped for a hug and I asked her 'Are you stupid?' She paused for a moment then said 'no mummy, but I forget.' She did her usual over exaggerated sad face. 

'Mummy sometimes forget things. Do you remember when I went to get you a drink from the kitchen?' Yes ' I came back in without it didn't I?' Yes.'that is because I did something else and my brain forgot about your drink. Your brain is so busy being clever it forgets things like mummy did. Mummy is not stupid is she?' 

We agreed that we are both clever and I confirmed again with her that she is not stupid. 

I really hope that telling her every day that she is clever I can start to break down this mind set that she is stupid. If I can install this into her maybe she will be able to believe in herself, it's the one thing I feel is most important in life.