Saturday 18 January 2014

Diagnosis, statements and finding the right school

     I have tried many times since the summer to blog about S's progress but have found it too painful to put it in words. Luckily things seem settled and positive right now so this is the perfect time to reflect on how far we have come in the last 7 months.
   
    In early June we were given a statement for S and we needed to pick a provision. We chose a school we thought could meet her behavioural needs (given that she didn't have a diagnosis). A few weeks later as we were due to sit down with her Psychologist and the deadline for the schools response had passed I chased the LEA. We were told the school could not make a decision without knowing if S had an ASD or not. Luckily we did not have to wait long as 2 days later we were told officially that S has Atypical Autism. We explained the situation to psychologist and the very next day we collected the report (almost a miracle for the NHS) and handed a copy to the LEA whom forwarded it to the school. Again we had to chase to discover that because the statement was amended the school could have a further 15 working days to reconsider. After some digging we realised the new diagnosis would mean the school would not accept S. I was sick of waiting knowing the school were just sitting on a question they knew the answer to. I tackled the matter head on and called the head teacher to get the no we knew was coming. We then named a second school which could most certainly meat S's emotional needs but we knew deep down may not challenge her academically. 2 days before the schools broke for summer we got our second rejection.

     My heart was in bits. How could so many people reject my daughter? Why could nobody educate our clever girl? I was also panicking because I knew she could not stay in the school she was in. Her self esteem was at rock bottom and the stress of back and forth to school (s had to come home for lunch) with a child who beat me and screamed while hundreds of parents and children stared at us was taking it's toll on the whole family. To add into the mix in year 2 not only would S have a new teacher to contend with but the children in the class would be different. I did not want to home school S as I found the prospect too daunting of a task and was still hopefully we would find a school.  Finally I spoke to someone at the LEA who had actually used their knowledge of local schools to try to find a suitable provision for S. I was given the name of a school about 10 miles away that may be able to meet her needs. I called full of hope and was told I would get a call back. Summer began with no reply. I had informed S's school that she would not be returning (despite being informed by the head that legislation was rather shakey as S had a statement). I didn't care I was willing to take on the LEA because it was unfair to expect S to stay in a school that could not meet her needs and cope with the huge transition into year 2 to be moved a short while later.

     We spent the whole summer in limbo we had no idea what was to come. Just before the schools re-opened we finally spoke to the potential school and arranged to go see it. It seemed right for S. She would be based in a unit within a mainstream school. Her class was made up of children with 'high functioning ' autism and she would have access to inclusion with year 2 children in mainstream. We took S to see the school and she seemed to love it.
Finally we had a place for S. On her first settling in session she read to her new teacher...something she refused to do at her former school! Her teacher was amazing with the settling in and eased my nerves about leaving S. When the day came for S to be picked up by a taxi for her first full day at school I was an emotional wreck but as the weeks and months have passed I have becoming more and more convinced that in the long run we got it right.

     S regularly comes home with prizes and certificates for her hard work and settling in so well into school. Just before Christmas I sat in a prize giving assembly and watched her new teacher and head talk about how much she has impressed them and how well she is liked by her new class. Even now I am welling with tears at how happy it made me to see her stood there looking so proud of herself.
She will soon begin to take numeracy classes with her year 2 link class and sometimes go out to play with the mainstream students her age, at her request (she told her teacher she misses girls as in her class she is the only girl). 

     It's so hard to stay optimistic as a parent as you win a battle just to be forced to begin another. All the fighting and waiting and uncertainty often brings me to my knees but I have no choice but to pull myself up and carry on. I am a mum and that is what we do for our children it is our job to help them get the best from life and if that involves a fight well then I have the greatest weapon at my side, the strength of love I have for my daughter, it's the strongest force I know.